Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Expectations or a lack there of...

Listening to the audio companion to Teaching from a State of Rest, I was left with an after thought that I really do not harbor expectations of who, what, where, or even the why of my children's futures. Cindy Rollins mentions in her talk, "The Long Haul: On Morning Time" available on Circe's site that she was upset by her oldest son's career choice. She was in "deep despair" it causing her to re-evaluate her homeschooling/parenting style. It struck me as an unfamiliar feeling.

The only expectations that I really have for my children are that they explore their interests whatever they may be and that they are living inside of the will of God leading them to becoming Saints. We want our children to be who and what God calls them to not to "be whoever they want". I have no preference of college vs. no college. I want all of my children to have the ability to be who they are created to be by God without my over or under influencing their choices.

I don't believe that it is wrong or right to have certain expectations but I do think that it will burden the child and the parent with possible unrealistic worries and attitudes if not given over to our Lord. Its all about priorities. I want our family culture to cultivate a freedom in finding their gifts, talents, and so much more given to them. I want to give them a broad range of experiences; I want them to have the knowledge base to converse with all people no matter what topic or level of ability.

Maybe its not a lack of expectations, but a natural area of faith in who my children are. That they really are "...born persons - they are not blank slates or embryonic oysters who have the potential of becoming persons. They already are persons." As a naturally anxious person, I guess I might be too consumed with the immediate needs of my children. My mother was always praying for my brother and me; I don't think I have ever realized that was the best gift she gave us. I hope that I can cultivate that life long litany for my own children. One prayer that we as a family say is the "Guardian Angel Prayer" which always helps to start the day with an attitude of peace. Another option for handing over children's futures is to pick a patron saint for the family or for the individual family members. We pick a new patron saint for each of us after Thanksgiving dinner for the new liturgical calendar entrusting that Saint with everything.

1 comment:

  1. Yes! I have the same lack of expectations for my kids as well. I just want them to be ambitious to fulfill God's Will, whatever that might be for them. I am hopeful that at least one of my kids are called to religious life, but if that isn't their vocation so be it. Loved the post.